Confessions by a Louisville, Kentucky mother-of-two kids on Facebook about her experience on becoming a second-time mother is winning the internet.
Kendra Barnes made some comments on her Facebook on being a second-time mom that is resonating with many parents around the world.
She posted, that she wrote this post while rocking her son to sleep, it was a busy day, and with two kids under two years of age, it was getting to her.
She further said, that bedtime was rushed and she was feeling guilty for not spending more time and giving enough attention to her kids, and as things had to get done, she did not have as much time as when there was just one kid.
“You were second,” she wrote in part. “Not in my heart, but one did come before you in time. Yes, with you, it was different.There was no gender reveal party. No elaborate showers. We didn’t read all the books or check the apps every week to see what vegetable you measured up against.
She goes on to write, “I didn’t take as many photos, didn’t spend every waking moment thinking about the way your hair might curl up on the ends one muggy summer day,” she wrote. “My mind was busier; my body more tired.The worries of a first-time-mom had faded, and now my thoughts drifted to fears that I wouldn’t be enough for you. I wondered how on earth my heart could ever be big enough, how I could manage to divide my time and energy and love equally enough.”
She further says that ” different doesn’t always mean bad, and less time certainly doesn’t mean less love.”
Barnes shared that with her firstborn, she fought postpartum anxiety and depression, and was feeling that she somehow lost out, getting caught up in the details.
“The second time I wasn’t as focused on all the little details, like photos and baby books, but I feel like I was really able to enjoy more of the things that matter,” she said.
Barnes says that it’s natural that every mother wants everyone of their kids to feel special, she thinks there are bigger societal issues involved.
You were second.
Not in my heart, but one did come before you in time.
Yes, with you, it was different.
“There has been such a pervasive shift in our culture telling women that they need to do it all, have it all, be everything to everyone, and honestly, it’s dangerous,” she said. “So many moms are feeling defeated before they even start their day simply because there’s no way anyone can really do it all. My hope is that sharing my stories will make us all feel less alone.”
For every mom, all her children are special, thanks to Kendra for her heart felt post, it sure has encouraged all mothers everywhere.
Proverbs 31:25 “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”