Ferrin Roy was born with a birthmark across her right cheek and was allegedly shamed at church because of it, but that didn’t stop her from achieving her goals and finding the husband of her dreams.
Ferrin Roy has a nevus birthmark, also called a pigmented skin lesion, on her right cheek which she calls her beauty mark. She calls her journey of accepting herself as one of self-realization because she couldn’t recall anyone or anything resembling her appearance.
She was conscious about it and felt like being in the spotlight continuously. The very first time she was made to feel ‘different’ was not at school but at church when she was just 9-years-old.
“I was a part of a youth choir group and I made eye contact with a lady who made a hand gesture for me to remove my birthmark from my face. I ignored her, but every time I would gaze in her direction, she would make the same gesture. At the end of the service, the pastor asked if anyone had any final remarks. She stood up and stated, ‘I wanted the young lady to remove what was on her face but I realized she couldn’t.’”
Her biggest supporter
Among all this, she had a mother who instilled confidence in her at a young age. She taught her that her birthmark belonged to her body, her mom was her voice, and defended her when strangers would make derogatory comments at her. She cannot recall all of those times when she was teased, but her mom remembers them.
As she was growing up she would see people staring at her, and she had to start defending herself when her mom wasn’t around her. She was affected by the harsh comments and they would linger in her mind.
Her escape- the mirror
She would talk to herself in the mirror and compliment her looks and recite daily affirmations. She said, “I recall my mom asking me so many times, ‘Ferrin, who are you talking to?!’ I would simply close the door in the bathroom and stare at myself and talk. While looking into the mirror, I could escape the unpredictable comments and stares.”
“In the mirror, I was the only one with an opinion. Most importantly, I was the only one with an opinion that mattered. I slowly learned to see a beautiful and confident young woman with a very distinctive look staring back at me.”
Achievements and accolades
Ferrin became involved in several extracurricular activities in school, such as beta club president, 4-H treasurer, and student council secretary. She was a cheerleader and never allowed her birthmark to stop her from achieving her goals in life. She says her childhood prepared her for living a normal life in a judgmental world.
People look at her and see how confident she is and not ashamed of her birthmark. She is over those days of embarrassment when she wondered why she looked different. Today she is that person who has continued to strive despite obstacles. She says, “My birthmark is a part of me and the moment I accepted it as a part of who I am, stares or comments did not bother me. I live my life no matter who is watching.”
Love and Marriage
Ferrin soon met an incredible man with whom she could freely discuss her birthmark. He appreciated her birthmark and said it was exquisite and that she was beautiful. They got married on August 14, 2016 and there was a headline that read, ‘The bride who refused to cover her birthmark on her wedding day!’ There was no need to cover her birthmark as she had accepted it as part of her and it was never even a thought about it in her mind.
“Today, I am happily married and have two daughters. My husband stated I was the first person he ever saw in his life with a facial birthmark. He stated he was amazed and he thought I was really beautiful. The little things he does such as kissing my birthmark is a small gesture that reminds me, he embraces it.”
She decided to be bold and courageous about her birthmark and said that she never saw the reason for surgery to change anything about herself. She has grown throughout her journey, in life and says that although some birthmarks have to be removed due to medical reasons, her reason would have been cosmetic.
Different is Beautiful
Her message to everyone is to take the time to love ourselves and do what’s best for us, if you feel like covering your mark or scar with makeup, that is okay. Once you accept yourself as you are you will be ready to break the cycle because its ok to be different. Different can be quite beautiful.
Confidence is important to achieve anything in life, only you can stop things in your life from manifesting. Having confidence will help you achieve every goal in life. Ferrin says she is happy that her birthmark is a part of her. It may make her look apart from others but it also represents courage to stand up for herself despite judgment.
This is such a wonderfully encouraging story for all of us because these are real struggles we all encounter at one point or another and it is up to us to allow it to make us or break our confidence.