Comedian Don McMillan went viral with his funny take on what stores should really be called. He renamed famous businesses to match what customers actually experience when they visit.
We all know that feeling when we walk into a store and reality hits different than what we expected. McMillan has turned all our everyday frustrations into pure comedy gold by giving businesses the names they probably deserve.
McMillan starts his comedy bit with Olive Garden. He says it should be called “Breadstick Garden” because nobody really goes there for olives. People go for those endless breadsticks and salad, then they’re done eating.
His wife helped him come up with the next one. Ross Dress for Less becomes “Ross Cheap Crap” in his version. He doesn’t hold back his honest opinion about the quality of clothes there.
The comedian, who works as an engineer, takes aim at In-N-Out Burger next. He thinks it should be called “Get in Line Burger” because the wait times are crazy long.
He jokes about sitting in the drive-through for 45 minutes, feeling like he’s stuck in freeway traffic just to order food. As an engineer, he says he should order a “quad” instead of a “double double.”
Trader Joe’s gets renamed “Insufficient Parking Joe’s” because finding a parking spot there feels impossible. McMillan jokes that the company finds places with no parking and says “perfect spot for a Trader Joe’s.”
He calls Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf “Coffee Bean and I Couldn’t Find a Starbucks.” He admits feeling bad about this joke but says it’s accurate.
His airline jokes hit home too. Spirit Airlines becomes “Spirit of a Bus” with a custom symbol he designed.
Southwest Airlines turns into “Survival of the Fittest Seating” because of their open seating policy.
For retail stores, Kohl’s becomes “Amazon Returns” since many people only go there to return online purchases.
CVS Pharmacy gets the funniest makeover as “Six-Foot Receipts” because their receipts print forever and seem endless.
The next time you face a long wait at In-N-Out or struggle to find parking at Trader Joe’s, think of McMillan’s hilarious observations and let a smile replace your frustration.
